Computers make it easy to do a lot of things,
but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
- Andy Rooney
I have not lost my mind. It's backed up on disk somewhere!
On the keyboard of life,
always keep one finger on the escapte key.
The ultimate in office automation:
networked coffee!
Give a man a fish, and feed him for a day.
Teach a man to use the Net,
... and he won't bother you for weeks.
A teacher asked one of her pupils, "What's the nation's capital?"
The reply was, "Washington D.C."
On being asked what the "D.C." stood for, the pupil added, "Dot com!"
"Off the keyboard, out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1's, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net."
Sighting #7 (from Tech Support):
Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"
Individual: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"
Sighting #8 (from Tech Support):
Individual: Now what do I do?
Tech Support: What is the prompt on the screen?
Individual: It's asking for "Enter Your Last Name."
Tech Support: Okay, so type in your last name.
Individual: How do you spell that?
Q. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to write a good software program?
A. More
Comparing Windows to a Mac is like comparing Sparkling Wine to Champagne.
It has the bubbles and will get you drunk. But when you wake up in the morning you've got a headache.
A computer without a Microsoft operating system
is like a dog without a brick tied to its head.
Microsoft does not make virus announcements.
They make money.
Definition: Windows 95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
Elementary Schools: where old computers go to die!
I haven't lost my mind.
It's backed up on disk somewhere...
Ask not what computers can do with children,
but what children can do with computers.
Elementary assessment of crayon use:
"Each of our primary classrooms contains four boxes of crayons - 128 unique colors each! - and 3 full sets of the rainbow assortment of markers. Our teachers have been properly trained in their use."
Distance Learning slogan
Attention... attention... wherever you are...
class is about to begin
"I've seen too many people so obsessed with the technology and concerned about... and there's little or no discussion about teachers and students and education."
--Ben Shneiderman, from keynote speech at EDUCOM'98
One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
Andre Gide
Hardware without software is just junk but software without teaching is just noise.
It isn't so much we're afraid of change or in love with the old ways.
It's just that place in between, like being in between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.
"There are thousands of buildings in this country with millions of people in them with no access to cable television and telephones and no hopes of access to broadband services. They are called schools."
Reed Hunt, Chair, FCC (Federal Communications Commission)
It said "Insert disk #3" but only two will fit.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.
Sign over a computer lab door
COMPUTER ROM
ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
May the carrier be with you.
Any errors in spelling, tact or fact are transmission errors.
All speling, factual, tact, and/or grametical errers be the result of netwerk interpherance or# transmition ererrs.
My problem is a Pentium II brain in a Pentium IV world.
Windows installation complete, press your luck to continue.
Windows 2000 = Macintosh 95
Friends don't let friends use Windows
Product warning for a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $ 2 shipping and a $3 handling charge, for a total of $4.97
There's a new computer virus out, called the Loraina Bobbit!
It could turn your hard drive into a 3 1/2in. floppy.
"The only thing wired in most schools are the kids. "
- David Thornburg
Running water is strong, turbulent, active, fresh. It carries within it rejuvenating elements drawn from upstream, and everything within its grasp is in motion.
Standing water looks peaceful, calm. But without motion, the water grows stagnant and dark. The elements within it decay and die. Without an infusion of new water, it shrinks and eventually vanishes, a lost relic leaving behind an empty river bed once filled with promise.
Technology cannot be ignored. It is not going to go away.
"I think there is a market for about five computers"
-Famous quote by Thomas J. Watson - CEO of IBM in '58
Word Processing costs over the years
1973 Mag Card for $14,000
1977 Memory 50 for $5,600
1980 OS6 for $30,000
If we compared educational technology to aviation, then the Wright brothers are about 15 years old and just getting some ideas about trying to fly.
"Books will soon be obsolete in the schools... Our school system will be completely changed in the next ten years"
-Thomas Edison, 1913 speaking about motion pictures
"The only person who welcomes change is a wet baby."
Every expert was once a beginner!
If kids are interested, then you can teach them anything!
Technology - are you on the cutting edge or are you cutting out?
In technology we are "white water rafting." Some of us are in the raft. Others are the driftwood that is being pulled along. Others are rocks, and are not moving at all. And then there are the bolders that hold everyone back.
-David Thornburg
"It is easier to change the location of a cemetary that to change the curriculum."
Woodrow Wilson
We should be teaching to our children's future, not to our past.
Instead of looking to our past we should leap past our future.
-Vice-Pres Quale
Be concerned about the future
You'll spend the rest of your life there!
Minot Public Schools Technology Staff Development Center
A place to become your best!
It isn't easy being the parent of a six-year-old today.
However, it's a small price to pay to have someone around the house who understands computers.
I've often gotten the feeling that the only people who have learned from computer assisted instruction are the authors.
-Ben Schneiderman
I don't think they should be called Integrated Learning Systems. I think they should be called Integrated Teaching Systems, because there is no evidence that learning has taken place.
-David Thornburg
I can please only one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
high five: ^5.
The politically correct term for mice balls is "rodent spheres"!
There's no place like http://www.home.com
Make your Windows machine go faster;
drop it from a higher window.
There are two types of computer users:
Those that back up their files and those that will one day be upset that they didn't.
Macintosh - we may not get everything right,
but at least we knew the century was going to end."
---Douglas Adams
Back up your hard disk! Back up your hard disk!
Back up your hard disk! Back up your hard disk!
Back up your hard disk! Back up your hard disk!
Microsoft has announced that the release of Office 2000 has been delayed until the second quarter of 1901.
The end of the world is near!
Have you backed up your files?
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
George Gobel