How to Pass A Class
1. Show Up
2. Pay Attention
3. Do Your Work
How to Fail A Class
1. Always arrive late.
2. Never slip into your desk quietly. Instead, make a big production of slamming the door behind you and shouting out, "Sorry I'm late! I had to go to the john!" If at all possible, drop all your books on the floor, too.
3. Better yet, don't have your books with you.
4. Never bring a pencil to class. Always borrow someone else's and forget to give it back.
5. Never bring paper. Let other people spend their money on stuff like that. Use their paper.
6. Use the paper you borrow to write a note. After you finish, make a big deal about passing - or better yet, throwing - it across the room to someone. Disturb as many people as possible.
7. Never, ever do your homework. The teacher will admire you for your consistency.
8. Lose your textbook the first week of school. Then you will have a good excuse for not reading your assignments.
9. Draw as much attention to yourself as possible. Make funny remarks. Start arguments. Be loud.
10. Groan a lot.
11. Say, "This is BORING!" loudly every five minutes or so, especially if it is really quiet in the room.
12. Ask, "Why do we have to do this stuff?" as often as possible.
13. After the teacher says, "Turn to page 36," say, "What page?"
14. Turn in all your assignment late. Better yet, never turn them in at all.
15, Whenever possible talk to your neighbor. If you absolutely can't, stare out the window or draw airplanes on top of the desk.
16. When you get your test back with an F, shout, "This isn't fair! The teacher hates me!"
17. Never show concern about your grade until the last day of the grading period. Then see if the teacher has extra credit you can do to make up for all 42 missing assignments.
18. If the teacher says, "No," throw a fit
19. When your group or partner is depending on you, show up unprepared.
20. If you have to read something in class, make it a magazine or a comic book.
21. If you have to do a report, copy word-for-word from the World Book Encyclopedia.
22. If you decide to hand in some homework, make sure you have copied it from someone else.
23. If you decide to do some homework for fifth period English, be sure that you do it during fourth period math.
24. Don't take notes. If you have followed item #4 and #5, this should not be a problem.
25. Stay up as late as possible. Sleep in class.