- "I touch the future, I teach."
Christa McAuliffe - Teachers open the door, but you enter by yourself.
Chinese Proverb - I cannot teach anybody anything,
I can only make them think.
Socrates - Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.
William Butler Yates - We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled,
but as candles to be lit.
Robert H. Shaffer - The illiterate of the future are not those who cannot read or write --
but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.
Alvin Toffler - "We need to educate our children for their future, not our past."
A.C. Clark - The mediocre teacher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires. - A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
Thomas Carruthers - If you think Education is expensive, consider the alternative
- Tend to not look at the cost of what goes into education, but rather at what the cost of failing to educate is. Call it zero-based budgeting for education, but I think if we looked at the dollar value of failing, we'd invest much more in succeeding.
- Any teacher that can be replaced by a computer, should be.
David Thornburg - No generation in history has ever been so thoroughly prepared for the
industrial age.
David Warlick <http://www.eschoolnews.com/eti/2006/02/001307.php> - We believe the children are the future
We believe teachers shape their future...
We believe technology is cool
We believe teachers are cooler.
Tom Snyder Productions - Listening isn't learning and telling isn't teaching
- Children don't care how much we know
unless they know how much we care. - I am always willing to learn, however I do not always like to be taught.
-Winston Churchill - ...our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent overeducation from happening.
-William Troy Harris, U.S. Commissioner of Education 1889-1906 - The United States Supreme Court has handed down the eleventh commandment,
"Thou shalt not, in any classroom, read the first ten." - If you didn't get the grade you wanted,
it's highly possible that I didn't get the work I wanted!
- It's nice to be important,
but it is more important to be nice. - People may doubt what you say,
but they will always believe what you do.
- The future is where we will spend the rest of our lives.
- Do fewer things better
Steve Jobs - Apple Computer - Focus means saying no
Steve Jobs - Apple Computer - The best part of Christmas is the first six letters.
- X is for the first letter of Christ's name in the Greek alphabet: Xristos
- A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.
John Le Carre - Swing hard, in case they throw the ball where you're swinging.
Duke Snider - Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?
Frank Scully - Ever notice that there are always more last-minute details than there are last minutes?
Ivern Ball - Wall Street Journal - It's too bad the people who really know how to run the country are busy teaching school!
- A leader knows what's best to do; a manager knows merely how best to do it.
Ken Adelman - Tribune Media Services - Warning: Dates on the calendar are closer than they appear!
- My problems today don't worry me
I haven't solved those from yesterday yet! - God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things and right now I'm so far behind I'll never die.
- Neatness is next to impossible
- I can please only one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either. - My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it is gone. - If it wasn't for the "last minute" nothing would ever get done.
- If it wasn't for deadlines, nothing would ever get done.
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
- I try to take one day at a time,
but lately several days have attacked me all at once. - Today's greatest labor-saving device is tomorrow.
Tom Wilson, Universal Press Syndicate - I had a life. I just can't remember where I put it.
- It's been one of those days... all week
- No one should get this far behind in just one lifetime.
- Attention Employees:
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
- The Management - A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
- The best things in life aren't things.
-- Art Buchwald - There is no such thing as a bad idea -
just better ones - It is easier to go the way you know
than to know the way to go! - A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept
... and hours are lost. - Don't take life too seriously, you never get out of it alive.
-- Elbart Hubbard - Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all it's pupils.
-- Hector Berlioz - Yesterday's the past and tomorrow's the future. Today is a gift--
which is why they call it the present.
Bill Keane - All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost.
-- J.R.R. Tolkein - You may be disappointed if you fail,
but you are doomed if you don't try. - Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I
- Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
- I don't find it hard to meet expenses.
They're everywhere! - If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- Have you ever looked deep within yourself and discovered that nobody was home?
- A lot of people can't handle prosperity -
but then, most of us don't have to. - Murphys Law #31
Any activity you need to accomplish will take more time than you have. - If all else fails -
Read the directions. - Think -
It may be a new experience - Seen hanging by a woman's desk:
Of course I don't look as busy as the men
I did it right the first time! - Don't try to fool me
I've been to collage! - Accuracy is our watch word
we never make misteaks! - Mistakes will happen
but why do you have to give them so much help? - I never make the same mistake twice
I'm too busy making new ones. 
(Letters get smaller and closer together at the end, as room on the poster runs out.)- THIMK!
- Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- Ya know what feels so good about banging your head against a wall?
Stopping... - Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
- "Sometimes it's easier to understand things than it is to figure them out"
-Casey Stengel - I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Carol Leifer - To do is to be - Descartes
To be is to do - Voltaire
Do be do be do - Frank Sinatra - People say "It's always in the last place you look".
Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? - The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
- When everything's coming your way, you might be in the wrong lane.
- Nostalgia makes me long for the good old days.
- Indecision may, or may not be my problem.
- Count your age by friends not years.
Count your life by smiles - not tears. - The best antiques are old friends.
- Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
- Friendship should not be thought of as something we get; it is something we give.
- If you treated your friends like you treat your kids,
how many friends would you have? - "We have done so much, with so little, for so long, we are now capable of doing everything with absolutely nothing."
- "A closed mouth gathers no feet"
- "No matter where you go, there you are."
- If it's green, it's biology,
If it stinks, it's chemistry
If it has numbers, it's math
If it doesn't work, it's technology - Warning!
There will be no more warnings. - It's nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice.
- When the going gets tough, most people quit
- Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
- Worry does not take the pain out of tomorrow;
it merely takes the joy out of today. - The trouble with walking around the house with a hammer in your hand is that, pretty soon, everything starts to look like a nail.
-Mark Twain - In theory, theory and practice are the same.
In practice, they're different. - We regret more things we didn't do than things we did do.
- The future is that time when you'll wish you'd done what you aren't doing now.
- Nothing is impossible.
Some things just haven't been done yet. - There are three kinds of people
-Those who make things happen
-Those who watch things happen
-Those who wonder what happened - People who try to whittle you down are only trying to reduce you to their size.
- Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than back.
- "I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist." Paul Harvey
- "An optimist goes to the window every morning and says, "Good morning, God."
The pessimist goes to the window and says, "Good God, morning. - It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
-Mark Twain - If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.
-Dan Quayle - "Knowledge is of two kinds: we know a subject ourselves,
or we know where we can find information on it."
Samuel Johnson - Disgo method of teaching math -
"Dis goes here, dis goes there" - I just got lost in thought.
It was unfamiliar territory. - A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Seen it all, done it all,
can't remember most of it. - Despite the cost of living,
have you noticed how it remains so popular? - Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
- You don't get harmony when everyone sings the same note
--John Powell or
-- Doug Floyd in Spokane, Wash., Sokesman Review - If At First You Don't Succeed,
Don't Become A Skydiver! - One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course.
- "In life you are given two ends, one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose."
Conrad Burns, US Senator - Montana - Stop and think:
at the airport the Terminal is the last thing we see - Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
A man walks into a bar and says, "OUCH!"
A man walked into a bar and broke his leg. - On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- Those of you who think that you know everything are particularly annoying to those of us who do.
- The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" - The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
---- From an article on the growth of federal regulations in the Oct. 24th issue of National Review - Half of the people in the world are below average.
- I really enjoy work
I can sit and watch it for hours. - "Please all, and you will please none."
- Aesop - "Scotty, beam us aboard".
"Aye, sir. Will a 2x4 do?"
- Bartlett's Familiar Quotations
http://www.bartleby.com/99/ - "I never met a man I didn't like"
Will Rogers - "Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
Will Rogers - Other Will Rogers quotes
http://www.cmgww.com/historic/rogers/quote.html
Yogi Berra - my favorite philosopher!
Yogi Berra's second claim to fame is for being one of the most quoted figures in the sports world. He is credited with coining the deceptively simplistic observation, "It ain't over till it's over." More of Yogi's Quotes
- You can observe a lot just by watching.
- This is like deja vu all over again.
- Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.
- When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- I didn't really say everything I said.
- No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded.
- It ain't over till it's over.
- The future ain't what it used to be.
- The only thing that works is what works.
- When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra 1996 - "This is like deja vu all over again."
- "You can observe a lot just by watching."
- "He must have made that before he died."
-- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie. - "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
- "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
- "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
- "Nobody goes there anymore;
it's too crowded." - "It gets late early out there."
-- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium. - "Do you mean now?"
-- When asked for the time. - "90% of the putts that are short don't go in."
- "Yeah, but we're making great time!"
-- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost." - The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
- Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
- The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
- Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving to where you can't find them.
- The law of Probability Dispersal decrees that whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
- Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
- Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
- All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
- One-seventh of life is spent on Monday.
- By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
- Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty but only the pig enjoys it.
- The trouble with life is that you are halfway through it before you realize it's a "do it yourself" thing.
- Down with gravity!
- Nobody's perfect and since I'm nobody...!
- People who eat natural foods die from natural causes.
- Some day my ship will come in, but with my luck, I'll be at the airport.
- If you can't be kind, be vague.
- Student: Do you punish people for things they don't do?
Teacher: No.
Student: Great! I didn't do my homework. - Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Ellen: I is...
Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
Ellen: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
- The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
- My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and a large trash can.
- Americans are getting stronger. Years ago, you needed a station wagon to hold $10 worth of groceries.
20 years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries.
Now, a five-year-old can do it. - USA Today has come out with a new survey:
Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
- David Letterman - Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers - I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
- Groucho Marx - Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.
- Niels Bohr - Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain - Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
- Fletcher Knebel - "Not one shred of evidence exists supporting the idea that life is serious."
If you are dog tired at the end of the day you might have been growling all day
If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there."
- Will Rogers - "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
Professor Dumbledore to Harry Potter in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling - "I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."
- You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.
--Wayne Gretzky - The harder I work, the luckier I get.
--Sam Goldwyn - Time is what we want most but what we use worst.
- "If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?"
- I am perfectly capable of learning from my mistakes.
I will surely learn a great deal today. - "The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
-- Alvin Toffler - I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel – it turned out to be a train!
- 'No entertainment is so cheap as reading;nor any pleasure so lasting'
-Lady Mary Wortley Montagu - A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, the kind of car I drove...but, the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.
- "Pretty much everything will come to him who hustles while he waits." -
Thomas Alva Edison - As knowledge increases, wonder deepens.
-Charles Morgan - Education is the movement from darkness to light.
-Allan Bloom -
A normal adolescent isn't a normal adolescent if he acts normal.
-Judith Viorst -
Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.
-James Baldwin -
Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.
-Booker T. Washington -
Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-B.F. Skinner -
If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had forty people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job.
-Donald D. Quinn -
If only for half an hour a day, a child should do something serviceable to the community.
-George Bernard Shaw - Big companies are small companies that have succeeded.
--Robert Townsend
Speakers quotes
- Some of you in the rear may not be able to hear me. Those of you in the front may want to go back and join them.
If everything goes as planned this evening, we shouldn’t run more than an hour late. - Introduction:
Our next guest is the greatest guy in the world. And that’s not my opinion--it’s his.
Our speaker tonight needs no introduction. So I’m going home. - Handing Out Literature:
These handouts may not make much sense at first, but you’ll discover that they’re very handy to doodle on when I get real boring. - Fitness: This lighting really plays tricks on your eyes. I’m actually a lot more handsome and skinnier than I look.
- Responding To A Difficult Question: That’s a very good question. See me during the break, and I’ll avoid answering it then, too.
- Fielding Questions: Don’t be embarrassed to ask even the simplest, most basic question--
Those are the only ones I’ll be able to answer.