- When you turn in your textbooks, the teachers all say "Why don't you hang on to those, Sport?"
- The library called to say there's no hurry about returning those books.
- The cafeteria staff asks you what you'd like on the menu next year.
- Jostens just called to have your class ring "updated."
- When you were introduced at a recent pep rally, the cheerleaders yelled: "Gimme an 'F', gimme an 'F', gimme a 'D', gimme an 'F'!"
- Instead of a commencement speech, the principal asks you to give a concession speech.
- After 6 years your advisor can't pick you out of a lineup.
- You are voted "spokesperson for the detention room" a record sixth year in a row.
- It's June and you're still searching for your class schedule.
- You get a snide letter from your counselor recommending a summer course
- Six years of high school and all you've learned are the lyrics to "Louie, Louie."
- The faculty considers granting you tenure.
- Only sheepskin you'll see this summer is in the barn.
- In retrospect, perhaps taking the principal hostage and demanding an end to the "fascist Socratic method" wasn't such a wise move.
- That dream that you were taking a final in a course that you had not attended all year? Not a dream but a murky, drunken, half-repressed memory.
- No extra credit on the final for filling in all of zeros and turning the O's into happy faces.
- This year your parking fines bought new uniforms for all the winter sports teams. *Next* year, though, they're going to need new football uniforms.
- Instead of handing you a Diploma, the Superintendent laughs at you.
- Department chair refuses to count your time in jail as field study.
- Your papers have stopped showing up on the refrigerator.
- Your principal tells your parents they can plan a weekend trip on the day of graduation.
- Every time you start a sentence with "After I graduate...", your Career Advisor starts giggling uncontrollably.
- You used the "Good Times Virus ate my thesis" excuse once too often.
- You think a syllabus is an egg-laying mammal from Australia.
- Despite having completed all your credits, you've still got 493 hours of detention to make up.
- Your last visit to the library was during Freshman orientation.
- You realized too late in the semester that psychics and physics were very different classes.
- Dude! You gotta be, like, ENROLLED to graduate.
Signs You're Not Graduating This Year